my veins are dry, but every night i water them back to life.

i've been struggling with addiction,

and its the only thought that runs through my head.
thus the topic.

when i was at havenwyck hospital i was given a letter

'from' my disease.

this is my letter back.

just so i don't have to deal with this again
YES, i am seeking treatment.
-----------------------------------------------


i’ve been in heated room
with addicts
and their parents
because of you.

i have never wanted something
more in my life.

i would give up:
- air
- friendship
- family
- love
- honesty
-and every feeling i promised myself that i would never give up.

you had me at hello.
you always have.
and.
you.
always.
will.

you will be the death of me.
as you were for my friends.

forever and after; we both said as you are rushed to my heart.
you made me fall backwards, giggle, laugh, and fall in love.

i miss you more than i thought i missed him.
i miss you more than whatever i valued.
i miss you more than _______.
thats how much i feel i need you.

i fear and love everything about you.

talking about you makes it better?
[it only makes it worse.]
you make me shake,
you make me sweat,
you make me bite my lip.
you captivate my every waking moment.

.belts.spoons.needles.sheets.
.belts.spoons.needles.sheets.

.belts.spoons.needles.sheets.

.belts.spoons.needles.sheets.

.belts.spoons.needles.sheets.

you are my lover.
you are my friend.

you are my
first and last
thought each day.

when i only existed, you lived.
when i live, you may only exist.

“until we meet again, i wish you death and suffering.”--is what you tell me in your letter.

i miss you.
i need you.
i crave you.

love always and sincerely,
yours truly.