you're not a robot.

i'm sick of everyone thinking that because
i went to havenwyck
i'd know what do to.

i don't.

everyone seems to have these feelings
and i'm supposed to help them with it.

i can't.

i have to help myself.
i need to help myself.

it hurts to know my friends are feeling this way.
they watched me go through it.
they watched how f[u]cked up i got.
but they still say it.

this is my second friend to go into a hospital.
this is my third friend to say these things [to my knowledge.]

i can't be around this.
i can't help them.

it just drags me down.
just like how i know
hes in his room right now
getting scagged.

"i am a ghost wanting what every ghost wants-- a body."