living life on lifes terms.

doesn't that mean no?
if i take these
i'm not excepting it
and i am letting my old ways
go back.

"our bodies don't know the difference
between the drugs perscribed
by a physician
for pain
and the drugs
perscribed by ourselves
to get high.''

there is no safe way.
that is what it says.

it worries me.

surrender means not having to fight anymore.
if i am surrendering to, yet, another disease
i would have to start all of this all over again.

but the way to surrender to this disease
is having to do the oppisite
of what the antidote for the other disease is.


''eventually someone will say 'it's kosher.' ''
and i think that's what is happening.